Top 5 Hot-Hatchbacks

       Hot-Hatch, it all started in the mid-70s when Renault launched the Renault 5 Apline and Volkswagen came out with the Golf GTI. The concept is very simple...take your average run-of-the-mill small family car put in a bigger engine, a couple of beefy turbos, stiffen the suspension, add race spec brakes and don't forget the body kit with macho wheel arches...and tadaaa!! you have a Porsche munching 4 seater with space for your groceries and in-laws' suitcases!! It couldn't get simpler and well frankly this also was the death knell for many of the historic British sport car manufacturers.
     Today almost every significant player in the European market has their own hot version of their major small cars. So let's see out of the plethora of cars available which hot-hatches actually prove their might and worth. This list is not according to rank but just the top 5 out there...

Renault Sport Clio:

   The French being one of the pioneers in hot-hatches always have at least one car out there that blew peoples mind. The Clio Sport is a small little mouse; but fast as hell. Speedy Gonzales of the five here. With almost 200bhp available, it easily takes you from standstill to a 100 in 6.9 seconds and will keep on going till 227kmph. Handling wise it's pretty well sorted and easily one of the best in here. A quirky looking small French hatch but with the rage of a drunk Irishman.

Volkswagen Golf GTI:

      Some say this is the mother of all hot-hatches, from where it all started. The original 1976 Golf GTI was just perfect, German reliability with great performance. No wonder people in the UK started ditching their good old but largely unpredictable Jensens and Triumphs for this new breed. The Golf now in its 6^th avatar produces 207bhp, 0-100 in 6.9 seconds and capable of going up to 250kmph. After being honed for more 30 years the handling et al has been almost perfected and in addition you get the solidity of the brand Volkswagen. A car for the level headed enthusiast.

Subaru Impreza WRX STI:

      Born in the dust and gravel of the World Rally Championship and driven by the legendary late Colin McRae, this is a car that has been around for almost 20 years. For a lay man this car and the Mitsubishi Evo have been the face of the WRC for long. Blistering fast performance from an almost 300bhp flat-4 engine, enough to propel the car to 100kmph under 6 seconds. With all-wheel-drive and drive systems that are equally at home on the snow clad twisties of the Alps and the highways, you can be Dr Jekyll during your daily commute and Mr Hyde when you feel like a drift baboon.

Volkswagen Scirocco R:

    The Scirocco R is the beauty in this lot. Basically it is a VW Golf GTI with a different body bolted on. So this in everyday terms means that it is a good serving of hot chocolate on your humdrum vanilla ice-cream. It also comes with a power boost and develops a healthy 261bhp and when coupled with the dual clutch DSG gearbox hits 100 in 5.8 seconds. With the low roof line and coupe like styling, it is not as practical as the Golf, but gives what the Golf lacks...that zing! An obvious choice if you want everything that the Golf GTI gives, with a lot more style and a meatier punch!

Ford Focus RS500:

    One of the meanest and coolest hot-hatches out there I believe. The RS500 is based on the splendid Focus RS, which is based on the brilliant Focus. Awesome squared, one might say. To maintain exclusivity only 500 have been built. With 350bhp on tap, it is capable of hitting 100kmph in 5.6 seconds and can reach 263kmph and has exceptionally good handling. The Focus RS itself is a very critically acclaimed car and has received many laurels from the automotive industry. The RS500, something that even Batman would crave for...now that's something!


-Gaurav Singh 

"A thing of beauty, is joy forever" Part 2

The incredible Mazda Furai

     Take one long, hard look at this visual assault. It’s got more lines, curves and surfaces than your average geometry book and it’ll scare the living bejesus off the Batmobile! Okay, maybe not. It’s the fifth generation ‘Nagare’ car, which means ‘flow’ in Japanese and is the design theme running about at Mazda. The Mazda Furai concept. Laurens van der Acker, the designer, isn’t your average Joe. Like father, like son.

     Take another long, hard look at this one. The Nissan GTR looks about as comforting as a hammer thrown at your face! It’s functional, having a drag coefficient of 0.27 and apparently, this means a lot to the boffins at Nissan. That figure is lesser than that of a Honda Civic. In terms of drama, this one punches its way through Ferraris and Porsches to Paganis and Lamborghinis! You won’t imagine in your wildest, narcotics-fuelled dream that a man looking as harmless as Shiro Nakamura could have designed this! But then, like van der Acker, calling him normal would be equivalent to honoring Dr. Hannibal Lecter with a Nobel for philanthropy, of all things.

East Asia.

     The land of the Rising Sun. Mythical, fiercely protective about its sanctity, wonderfully traditional yet technologically light years ahead of the times. (The suspension bridge sea-link we so marveled at, was probably designed ten years ago, by a Japanese 3-year old, in his spare time when he wasn’t busy researching nuclear physics!)

     What happens when a bunch of whizkids like these team up? They bow to each other, smile, form a company named Toyota, smile some more, take over the world, bow to each other again and go home to their sushis and wasabi curries. Their knowledge about their business is consummate and they bulldoze their way to the goal. Toyota and Honda are testimonials enough.

    Needless to say, still water runs deep and there lies a conflict within. In the auto sector, it manifests itself quite visibly in the design department. The breed of Asian auto designers is divided into two extremes- One that designs small family hatchbacks, run-off-the-mill sedans during daytime and is a doting father and loving husband by night. The other comprises of people like Nakamura, who design supercars by day.

   They are stark raving lunatic ninjas by night! They haven’t even spared van der Acker, who is a benign Dutchman!  

    Understandably, I am interested in the latter one. Contemplating the Asian design language is impossible for those who hail from other parts of the world, as I had already mentioned in the last article, but I’ll try putting things in perspective because the guys at TGM love you.

   Consider a biro: a simple ball point pen. Ze Germans vill keep it simple but vill fill it wiz ink zat’ll be programmed to spell-check and align itself in beautiful cursive. The Italian version will be inspired by the curvaceous Sophia Loren, will work three days before the ink runs out and will be relegated to the showcase, where it rightfully belongs. The Americans will add power bulges that’ll accommodate turbochargers and have two stripes painted along the sides.

   Those mad Asians, they will make you believe it’s a washing machine that runs on yoghurt! 

   

   Most of the time though, the design tends to veer a bit too much towards the practical, and that gets boring. The Toyota Corolla is a fine example of this. I’ll bet the designer fell asleep by the time he reached the rear view! The Honda CR-V is another. For 20 odd, hard earned lakhs, it officially is the ugliest thing on four wheels you could ever buy! It’s atrocious, nothing less. The front end shouldn’t have made it past the design stage. Heck, it shouldn’t have made it past the designer’s brain, in the first place! There is nothing hugely exciting about most of the other manufacturers too. The Mitsubishi Lancer used to be an exception until the Evolutions got a bit long in the tooth! The Toyota Fortuner is a fine piece of kit and really looks the part- ugly and intimidating to boot! It derives extensively from its elder sibling, the handsome Land Cruiser, and has done some workout of its own. Good.

   Amongst the Koreans, Kia finds favor in yours truly. With all due respect, Kia, our tongues haven’t yet adapted themselves to pronounce Cee’d, although it’s a pretty car in its own right! They have also come up with a sequel, aptly labeled ProCee’d, to give us an idea. As a principle, I hate everything that comes out of the Hyundai (Kia’s sister company) stable! The Accent and the i20 are alright, but everything else seems to be designed by someone with a serious taste bypass! The Sonata never had an identity of its own, the original being a bastard child of the Merc C and a Jaguar while the first iteration was a cross between an Audi and the Honda Accord. Stop ‘Transform’ing it already, Hyundai! The third Korean, Ssangyong, isn’t much of a car manufacturer as a pig-rearing farm! Kindly google the Kyron, the Musso, the Rodius, the Actyon and the Stavic and you’ll know why. It’s now signed a deal with Mahindra and frankly, we shouldn’t be too excited.

Kia Cee'd the current Top Gear 'Reasonably Priced Car'

  The Chinese are yet to arrive on a truly global platform. Till then, they have to be content on aping successful designs by other manufacturers. Here’s a contest: Identify the originals.

The Geely GE.

The Brilliance  BS4.

The Dongfeng Coupe.

The Shuanghuan Sceo.

The Donfeng Coupe and Brilliance BS4

The Geely GE and Shuanghuan Sceo

   The recent acquisition of Volvo by Geely (that’s a shocker, isn’t it?) should move things around a bit. Any erstwhile attempt at originality results in something that looks like a potato with headlights: The Chery Aoo being the case in point.

   

   All said and done, pride and honor are of utmost importance to the Oriental demographic, as glorified countless number of times by Hollywood. You scandalize them and they’ll send you home in ten separate lunch boxes, with an accompaniment of schezwan sauce! This article here hasn’t exactly been kind on them. As I type, three ninjas have already been dispatched by Nissan, Honda and Toyota each. They are after my blood, their honor is at stake.

Damn, what was that noise in the kitchen?

- Guest Writer

Abhishek Joshi

Jaguar XF

      Well let's face it, many of us came to know that Jaguar exists only when news started to surface that Tata has bought it. And soon when the fizz died out, so did the brands presence among the general folk. They had a launch party, cars were imported and few were sold.The main reason, I believe for this old and very well acclaimed brand's misfortune in India so far was simply due to lack of a diesel engine in their most practical car, the XF. The enthusiasts at this point must be wondering that this guy has gone bonkers...Jag got the supercharged M5-busting 503 bhp engine, what can be better that than. I agree. I would be ready to sell my kidney to get the moolah to buy and run that beast, but the businessman who is actually going to buy a car of that range cares more about his internal organs and the running costs. He would get a cheaper beamer or a three-pointed star that runs on diesel instead. Smart choice, Sire.

Jaguar XF

        But now they have come with a game changer; 3 litre V6 turbo-diesel for the XF. Priced at almost 50 lakhs, it undercuts the E-Class and Audi A6...the BMW 5-Series is just marginally cheaper. And this is a game changer indeed. Anyone who starts making it big will first think of buying a Mercedes-Benz, nothing says 'I've arrived' better than that. Anyone who is of this current generation will go for a BMW or Audi...something different to the same old Merc brand. But the sad part is that spotting any of these brands is not at all difficult anymore. They have become mundane. 

BMW 5-Series and Audi A6

Mercedes-Benz E-Class

       And this is where our saviour of the day, the Jag enters. What the Jaguar brand offers as of now, none can...exclusivity. Even if you choose to ignore such superficial factors, the car will not disappoint you at all. It has amazing build quality and a diesel engine which is by far the best of the lot. It may not give that tank-like solid feel like the Germans do, but heck it will definitely make you grin!! Coming to the looks, among the E-Class, 5 Series, A6 and XF...the E-Class I believe is the most well balanced of the lot. The BMW looks good too but in a rude way. The A6 is just too subtle to ignite passion. The XF is mix of all these, the rear is splendid and the side profile tantalizing and a pretty decent front too...not the ugly duckling at all.


      So if you folks out there need to spend half a crore on a sedan, take my advice and go for the Jaguar XF...looks great, drives great and moreover it that special X-factor and feels like it has a soul unlike the German machines.The guys in Coventry, UK have got this one spot on. And hey, don’t forget we Indians own it !!  
- Gaurav Singh
   TGM Team