"A thing of beauty, is joy forever" Part 2

The incredible Mazda Furai

     Take one long, hard look at this visual assault. It’s got more lines, curves and surfaces than your average geometry book and it’ll scare the living bejesus off the Batmobile! Okay, maybe not. It’s the fifth generation ‘Nagare’ car, which means ‘flow’ in Japanese and is the design theme running about at Mazda. The Mazda Furai concept. Laurens van der Acker, the designer, isn’t your average Joe. Like father, like son.

     Take another long, hard look at this one. The Nissan GTR looks about as comforting as a hammer thrown at your face! It’s functional, having a drag coefficient of 0.27 and apparently, this means a lot to the boffins at Nissan. That figure is lesser than that of a Honda Civic. In terms of drama, this one punches its way through Ferraris and Porsches to Paganis and Lamborghinis! You won’t imagine in your wildest, narcotics-fuelled dream that a man looking as harmless as Shiro Nakamura could have designed this! But then, like van der Acker, calling him normal would be equivalent to honoring Dr. Hannibal Lecter with a Nobel for philanthropy, of all things.

East Asia.

     The land of the Rising Sun. Mythical, fiercely protective about its sanctity, wonderfully traditional yet technologically light years ahead of the times. (The suspension bridge sea-link we so marveled at, was probably designed ten years ago, by a Japanese 3-year old, in his spare time when he wasn’t busy researching nuclear physics!)

     What happens when a bunch of whizkids like these team up? They bow to each other, smile, form a company named Toyota, smile some more, take over the world, bow to each other again and go home to their sushis and wasabi curries. Their knowledge about their business is consummate and they bulldoze their way to the goal. Toyota and Honda are testimonials enough.

    Needless to say, still water runs deep and there lies a conflict within. In the auto sector, it manifests itself quite visibly in the design department. The breed of Asian auto designers is divided into two extremes- One that designs small family hatchbacks, run-off-the-mill sedans during daytime and is a doting father and loving husband by night. The other comprises of people like Nakamura, who design supercars by day.

   They are stark raving lunatic ninjas by night! They haven’t even spared van der Acker, who is a benign Dutchman!  

    Understandably, I am interested in the latter one. Contemplating the Asian design language is impossible for those who hail from other parts of the world, as I had already mentioned in the last article, but I’ll try putting things in perspective because the guys at TGM love you.

   Consider a biro: a simple ball point pen. Ze Germans vill keep it simple but vill fill it wiz ink zat’ll be programmed to spell-check and align itself in beautiful cursive. The Italian version will be inspired by the curvaceous Sophia Loren, will work three days before the ink runs out and will be relegated to the showcase, where it rightfully belongs. The Americans will add power bulges that’ll accommodate turbochargers and have two stripes painted along the sides.

   Those mad Asians, they will make you believe it’s a washing machine that runs on yoghurt! 

   

   Most of the time though, the design tends to veer a bit too much towards the practical, and that gets boring. The Toyota Corolla is a fine example of this. I’ll bet the designer fell asleep by the time he reached the rear view! The Honda CR-V is another. For 20 odd, hard earned lakhs, it officially is the ugliest thing on four wheels you could ever buy! It’s atrocious, nothing less. The front end shouldn’t have made it past the design stage. Heck, it shouldn’t have made it past the designer’s brain, in the first place! There is nothing hugely exciting about most of the other manufacturers too. The Mitsubishi Lancer used to be an exception until the Evolutions got a bit long in the tooth! The Toyota Fortuner is a fine piece of kit and really looks the part- ugly and intimidating to boot! It derives extensively from its elder sibling, the handsome Land Cruiser, and has done some workout of its own. Good.

   Amongst the Koreans, Kia finds favor in yours truly. With all due respect, Kia, our tongues haven’t yet adapted themselves to pronounce Cee’d, although it’s a pretty car in its own right! They have also come up with a sequel, aptly labeled ProCee’d, to give us an idea. As a principle, I hate everything that comes out of the Hyundai (Kia’s sister company) stable! The Accent and the i20 are alright, but everything else seems to be designed by someone with a serious taste bypass! The Sonata never had an identity of its own, the original being a bastard child of the Merc C and a Jaguar while the first iteration was a cross between an Audi and the Honda Accord. Stop ‘Transform’ing it already, Hyundai! The third Korean, Ssangyong, isn’t much of a car manufacturer as a pig-rearing farm! Kindly google the Kyron, the Musso, the Rodius, the Actyon and the Stavic and you’ll know why. It’s now signed a deal with Mahindra and frankly, we shouldn’t be too excited.

Kia Cee'd the current Top Gear 'Reasonably Priced Car'

  The Chinese are yet to arrive on a truly global platform. Till then, they have to be content on aping successful designs by other manufacturers. Here’s a contest: Identify the originals.

The Geely GE.

The Brilliance  BS4.

The Dongfeng Coupe.

The Shuanghuan Sceo.

The Donfeng Coupe and Brilliance BS4

The Geely GE and Shuanghuan Sceo

   The recent acquisition of Volvo by Geely (that’s a shocker, isn’t it?) should move things around a bit. Any erstwhile attempt at originality results in something that looks like a potato with headlights: The Chery Aoo being the case in point.

   

   All said and done, pride and honor are of utmost importance to the Oriental demographic, as glorified countless number of times by Hollywood. You scandalize them and they’ll send you home in ten separate lunch boxes, with an accompaniment of schezwan sauce! This article here hasn’t exactly been kind on them. As I type, three ninjas have already been dispatched by Nissan, Honda and Toyota each. They are after my blood, their honor is at stake.

Damn, what was that noise in the kitchen?

- Guest Writer

Abhishek Joshi